AS YOU LIKE IT

Act 1 Scene 2

(Enter Rosalind and Celia)
l1l	Celia	 I pray thee Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
l2l	Rosalind	Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am
l3l		mistress of# and would you yet I were merrier? Unless
l4l		you could teach me to forget a banished father you
l5l		must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary
l6l		pleasure.
l7l	Celia	Herein I see thou lovest me not with the full weight
l8l		that I love thee. If my uncle, thy banished father, had
l9l		banished thy uncle, the Duke my father, so thou hadst
l10l		been still with me I could have taught my love to take
l11l		thy father for mine. So wouldst thou, if the truth of
l12l		thy love to me were so righteously tempered as mine
l13l		is to thee.
l14l	Rosalind	Well, I will forget the condition of my estate to
l15l		rejoice in yours.
l16l	Celia	You know my father hath no child but I, nor none
l17l		is like to have. And truly, when he dies thou shalt be
l18l		his heir# for what he hath taken away from thy father
l19l		perforce, I will render thee again in affection. By mine
l20l		honour I will, and when I break that oath, let me turn
l21l		monster. Therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be
l22l		merry.
l23l	Rosalind	From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports.
l24l		Let me see, what think you of falling in love?
l25l	Celia	Marry, I prithee do, to make sport withal# but love
l26l		no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport neither
l27l		than with safety of a pure blush thou mayst in honour
l28l		come off again.
l29l	Rosalind	What shall be our sport, then?
l30l	Celia	Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune
l31l		from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be
l32l		bestowed equally.
l33l	Rosalind	I would we could do so, for her benefits are
l34l		mightily misplaced# and the bountiful blind woman
l35l		doth most mistake in her gifts to women.
l36l	Celia	’Tis true# for those that she makes fair she scarce
l37l		makes honest, and those that she makes honest she
l38l		makes very ill-favouredly.
l39l	Rosalind	Nay, now thou goest from Fortune’s office to
l40l		Nature’s. Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in
l41l		the lineaments of nature.
		(Enter Touchstone the clown)
l42l	Celia	 No. When Nature hath made a fair creature, may
l43l		she not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature
l44l		hath given us wit to flout at Fortune, hath not Fortune
l45l		sent in this fool to cut off the argument?
l46l	Rosalind	Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature,
l47l		when Fortune makes Nature’s natural the cutter-off of
l48l		Nature’s wit.
l49l	Celia	Peradventure this is not Fortune’s work, neither,
l50l		but Nature’s, who perceiveth our natural wits too dull
l51l		to reason of such goddesses, and hath sent this natural
l52l		for our whetstone# for always the dullness of the fool
l53l		is the whetstone of the wits. How now, wit: whither
l54l		wander you?
l55l	Touchstone	Mistress, you must come away to your father.
l56l	Celia	Were you made the messenger?
l57l	Touchstone	No, by mine honour, but I was bid to come
l58l		for you.
l59l	Rosalind	Where learned you that oath, fool?
l60l	Touchstone	Of a certain knight that swore “by his honour”
l61l		they were good pancakes, and swore “by his honour”
l62l		the mustard was naught. Now I’ll stand to it the
l63l		pancakes were naught and the mustard was good, and
l64l		yet was not the knight forsworn.
l65l	Celia	How prove you that in the great heap of your
l66l		knowledge?
l67l	Rosalind	Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
l68l	Touchstone	Stand you both forth now. Stroke your chins,
l69l		and swear by your beards that I am a knave.
l70l	Celia	By our beards—if we had them—thou art.
l71l	Touchstone	By my knavery—if I had it—then I were#
l72l		but if you swear by that that is not, you are not
l73l		forsworn. No more was this knight, swearing by his
l74l		honour, for he never had any# or if he had, he had
l75l		sworn it away before ever he saw those pancakes or
l76l		that mustard.
l77l	Celia	Prithee, who is ’t that thou meanest?
l78l	Touchstone	One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
l79l	[Celia]	My father’s love is enough to honour him.
l80l		Enough, speak no more of him# you’ll be whipped for
l81l		taxation one of these days.
l82l	Touchstone	The more pity that fools may not speak wisely
l83l		what wise men do foolishly.
l84l	Celia	By my troth, thou sayst true# for since the little
l85l		wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery that
l86l		wise men have makes a great show. Here comes
l87l		Monsieur Le Beau.
		(Enter Le Beau)
l88l	Rosalind	 With his mouth full of news.
l89l	Celia	Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their
l90l		young.
l91l	Rosalind	Then shall we be news-crammed.
l92l	Celia	All the better: we shall be the more marketable.
l93l		Bonjour, Monsieur Le Beau, what’s the news?
l94l	Le Beau	Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.
l95l	Celia	Sport? Of what colour?
l96l	Le Beau	What colour, madam? How shall I answer you?
l97l	Rosalind	As wit and fortune will.
l98l	Touchstone	Or as the destinies decrees.
l99l	Celia	Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.
l100l	Touchstone	Nay, if I keep not my rank—
l101l	Rosalind	Thou losest thy old smell.
l102l	Le Beau	You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of
l103l		good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.
l104l	Rosalind	Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
l105l	Le Beau	I will tell you the beginning, and if it please your
l106l		ladyships you may see the end, for the best is yet to
l107l		do, and here, where you are, they are coming to
l108l		perform it.
l109l	Celia	Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.
l110l	Le Beau	There comes an old man and his three sons—
l111l	Celia	I could match this beginning with an old tale.
l112l	Le Beau	Three proper young men, of excellent growth
l113l		and presence.
l114l	Rosalind	With bills on their necks: “Be it known unto
l115l		all men by these presents”—
l116l	Le Beau	The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the
l117l		Duke’s wrestler, which Charles in a moment threw
l118l		him, and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope
l119l		of life in him. So he served the second, and so the third.
l120l		Yonder they lie, the poor old man their father making
l121l		such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take
l122l		his part with weeping.
l123l	Rosalind	Alas!
l124l	Touchstone	But what is the sport, monsieur, that the
l125l		ladies have lost?
l126l	Le Beau	Why, this that I speak of.
l127l	Touchstone	Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is
l128l		the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was
l129l		sport for ladies.
l130l	Celia	Or I, I promise thee.
l131l	Rosalind	But is there any else longs to see this broken
l132l		music in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-
l133l		breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?
l134l	Le Beau	You must if you stay here, for here is the place
l135l		appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to
l136l		perform it.
l137l	Celia	Yonder sure they are coming. Let us now stay and
l138l		see it.
		(Flourish. Enter Duke Frederick, Lords, Orlando, Charles, and attendants)
l139l	Duke Frederick	 Come on. Since the youth will not be
l140l		entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.
l141l	Rosalind	Is yonder the man?
l142l	Le Beau	Even he, madam.
l143l	Celia	Alas, he is too young. Yet he looks successfully.
l144l	Duke Frederick	How now, daughter and cousin# are you
l145l		crept hither to see the wrestling?
l146l	Rosalind	Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.
l147l	Duke Frederick	You will take little delight in it, I can tell
l148l		you, there is such odds in the man. In pity of the
l149l		challenger’s youth I would fain dissuade him, but he
l150l		will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies# see if you
l151l		can move him.
l152l	Celia	Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.
l153l	Duke Frederick	Do so. I’ll not be by.
		(He stands aside)
l154l	Le Beau	(to Orlando)
		 Monsieur the challenger, the Princess
l155l		calls for you.
l156l	Orlando	I attend them with all respect and duty.
l157l	Rosalind	Young man, have you challenged Charles the
l158l		wrestler?
l159l	Orlando	No, fair Princess. He is the general challenger#
l160l		I come but in as others do, to try with him the strength
l161l		of my youth.
l162l	Celia	Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your
l163l		years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength.
l164l		If you saw yourself with your eyes, or knew yourself
l165l		with your judgement, the fear of your adventure would
l166l		counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you
l167l		for your own sake to embrace your own safety and
l168l		give over this attempt.
l169l	Rosalind	Do, young sir. Your reputation shall not
l170l		therefore be misprized. We will make it our suit to the
l171l		Duke that the wrestling might not go forward.
l172l	Orlando	I beseech you, punish me not with your hard
l173l		thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty to deny
l174l		so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair
l175l		eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial, wherein
l176l		if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that was never
l177l		gracious, if killed, but one dead that is willing to be so.
l178l		I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to
l179l		lament me# the world no injury, for in it I have nothing.
l180l		Only in the world I fill up a place which may be better
l181l		supplied when I have made it empty.
l182l	Rosalind	The little strength that I have, I would it were
l183l		with you.
l184l	Celia	And mine, to eke out hers.
l185l	Rosalind	Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceived in
l186l		you.
l187l	Celia	Your heart’s desires be with you.
l188l	Charles	Come, where is this young gallant that is so
l189l		desirous to lie with his mother earth?
l190l	Orlando	Ready, sir# but his will hath in it a more modest
l191l		working.
l192l	Duke Frederick	You shall try but one fall.
l193l	Charles	No, I warrant your grace you shall not entreat
l194l		him to a second that have so mightily persuaded him
l195l		from a first.
l196l	Orlando	You mean to mock me after# you should not
l197l		have mocked me before. But come your ways.
l198l	Rosalind	(to Orlando)
		 Now Hercules be thy speed, young
l199l		man!
l200l	Celia	I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow
l201l		by the leg.
		(Charles and Orlando wrestle)
l202l	Rosalind	 O excellent young man!
l203l	Celia	If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who
l204l		should down.
		(Orlando throws Charles. Shout)
l205l	Duke Frederick	 No more, no more.
	Orlando	Yes, I beseech your grace.
l206l		I am not yet well breathed.
l207l	Duke Frederick	How dost thou, Charles?
l208l	Le Beau	He cannot speak, my lord.
l209l	Duke Frederick	Bear him away.
		(Attendants carry Charles off)
l210l		What is thy name, young man?
l211l	Orlando	 Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sir
l212l		Rowland de Bois.
l213l	Duke Frederick	 I would thou hadst been son to some man else.
l214l		The world esteemed thy father honourable,
l215l		But I did find him still mine enemy.
l216l		Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed
l217l		Hadst thou descended from another house.
l218l		But fare thee well, thou art a gallant youth.
l219l		I would thou hadst told me of another father.
		(Exeunt Duke Frederick, Le Beau, Touchstone, Lords, and attendants)
l220l	Celia	(to Rosalind)
		 Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
l221l	Orlando	I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,
l222l		His youngest son, and would not change that calling
l223l		To be adopted heir to Frederick.
l224l	Rosalind	My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,
l225l		And all the world was of my father’s mind.
l226l		Had I before known this young man his son
l227l		I should have given him tears unto entreaties
l228l		Ere he should thus have ventured.
	Celia	Gentle cousin,
l229l		Let us go thank him, and encourage him.
l230l		My father’s rough and envious disposition
l231l		Sticks me at heart.—Sir, you have well deserved.
l232l		If you do keep your promises in love
l233l		But justly, as you have exceeded all promise,
l234l		Your mistress shall be happy.
	Rosalind	
		(giving him a chain from her neck)
		 Gentleman,
l235l		Wear this for me—one out of suits with fortune,
l236l		That could give more but that her hand lacks means.
l237l		Shall we go, coz?
	Celia	Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.
		( 237B Rosalind and Celia turn to go)
l238l	Orlando	(aside)
		 Can I not say “I thank you”? My better parts
l239l		Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up
l240l		Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.
l241l	Rosalind	(to Celia)
		 He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes,
l242l		I’ll ask him what he would.—Did you call, sir?
l243l		Sir, you have wrestled well, and overthrown
l244l		More than your enemies.
l245l	Celia	Will you go, coz?
l246l	Rosalind	Have with you.
		(To Orlando)
		 Fare you well.
		(Exeunt Rosalind and Celia)
l247l	Orlando	 What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
l248l		I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.
		(Enter Le Beau)
l249l		O poor Orlando! Thou art overthrown.
l250l		Or Charles or something weaker masters thee.
l251l	Le Beau	Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
l252l		To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved
l253l		High commendation, true applause, and love,
l254l		Yet such is now the Duke’s condition
l255l		That he misconsters all that you have done.
l256l		The Duke is humorous. What he is indeed
l257l		More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
l258l	Orlando	I thank you, sir. And pray you tell me this,
l259l		Which of the two was daughter of the Duke
l260l		That here was at the wrestling?
l261l	Le Beau	Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners—
l262l		But yet indeed the shorter is his daughter.
l263l		The other is daughter to the banished Duke,
l264l		And here detained by her usurping uncle
l265l		To keep his daughter company, whose loves
l266l		Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
l267l		But I can tell you that of late this Duke
l268l		Hath ta’en displeasure ’gainst his gentle niece,
l269l		Grounded upon no other argument
l270l		But that the people praise her for her virtues
l271l		And pity her for her good father’s sake.
l272l		And, on my life, his malice ’gainst the lady
l273l		Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.
l274l		Hereafter, in a better world than this,
l275l		I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
l276l	Orlando	I rest much bounden to you. Fare you well.
		(Exit Le Beau)
l277l		Thus must I from the smoke into the smother,
l278l		From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.—
l279l		But heavenly Rosalind!
		(Exit)